Hello Beautiful Friends! I’ve been reflecting this week. It might be the lack of sugar I’ve had but I’m going with it’s because the Lord is prompting me to be a better person. I was thinking about a couple of verses I read earlier. Hebrews 10: 24-25. It says – 24 “and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.” I’ve read them several times before. Actually, it’s the verse in my Instagram bio!
Is Your Home An Open Door Concept?
These verses not only remind me to attend church and home group on a regular basis but it makes me think about inviting others into my home. I know I don’t do that enough. I also know it’s because I’m critical of my home. The blinds are filthy (true and sad), the floors are messy (they were clean yesterday), I don’t have food to feed them (I hate going to the grocery store), I’m tired and busy (also true but sad) and don’t forget the ugly wall color. These are all excuses I tell myself why I don’t invite anyone over. Blah Blah.
So, I want to ask you something. Do you think your home reflects who you are on the inside? Not the inside of your walls but your heart? Does your home give off the same feeling you get when you are perfectly happy? I think if mine did I’d be more apt to an open door concept or more invitations for sure. There are a few friends I “allow” over at any given time. I know they won’t judge my home or the awful presentation of it. Those friends are awesome!
If you are struggling with this like me, here are a few things I think will help us.
Start Small
Let’s invite only a couple of people at a time. I feel a small group will be more manageable especially if I’m going to offer food. I could whip together a salad, soup or chicken salad sandwich with fruit (girly type food) or if I plan it right, I could invite them over after lunch instead! Then it’s making brownies or buying a cake. That’s doable.
Containment
The next idea is keeping our guests to one or two rooms. Containment works! We only have to clean the rooms they’ll see like the kitchen, dining room, guest bathroom and maybe the living area. I’d be much happier not having to deal with the entire house.
Conversation
What will you talk about? If you think you aren’t a good conversationalist, play a game or invite someone else who loves to chat. This way, you’ll seem hospitable even though you aren’t doing a lot of talking.
Deflect
If it truly is your home that restricts you from having guests, work on the room that you’d be in the most. A lot of people feel comfortable in the kitchen. If you don’t have a table to gather around, what other room would you use? If it’s the dining room, a nice centerpiece will do the trick. If it’s the living room, slip covers are your friend. So is paint. Sometimes all you need is a focal point. Something to create conversation. Do you have a vase for the coffee table or a piece of artwork over the mantel? Even a collage of family photos will do.
Whatever you decide, be a gal that opens up her home so that others can be blessed by your hospitality. You never know what will be shared over a cup of coffee or a piece of cake. People are hurting. They are fearful or concerned about something. What better way to show God’s love than to invite them into your life and just be a friend with an ear and an open heart?
So ask yourself, is your home an open door concept?
My answer is I want to be a woman that cares more about how my guests feel when they leave than concerned about what they think when they arrive.
The more we invite people over the more confident we’ll be with entertaining. Just think, one day we could be hosting a weekly event and maybe all of those people will have turned into friends that are “allowed” to come through the front door whenever they’d like! I wish we lived close to each other. I think y’all would be my besties and not even have to ring the doorbell.
BTW, if you’d like to read the post on How To Love The Home Have, click on the title. I love mine more everyday.
It’s funny because when I visit other peoples homes, I’m not the least bit critical — I’m just happy to share the time! (Although I admit I love seeing other people’s homes, too!) But when it comes to entertaining in mine, I want everything to be just right! It helps me to remember that my goal is not to impress but to help others have a nice time!
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Karen, you sound like me!
I’ve had friends tell me that they DON’T want me over because they feel their home isn’t perfect. They think I’ll judge them. I am not critical of others homes either – just my own. Honestly, I am just there for the fellowship but would love to help if they ever asked. Then I get the friends who won’t ask for help because I get paid to do it and they think I don’t want to “work” when I’m over to have fun. Wish people realized that decorating and helping others is my favorite way to spend the day!
I love having people over to feed them. Feeding people I love brings me so much joy. I’m my worst critic but baking and cooking are things I know I get right. Well I hope because every person that comes eats everything. Either that or they’re starving and have no choice.
Super post!
Cindy
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I bet you are a fantabulous cook and baker Cindy. Even if it isn’t that great, I’d be thankful for the invite and chit chat. Glad you liked the post and are already a great hostess!
Wish we were neighbors! 🙂
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Me too! I think we’d be great friends.
Couldn’t agree with you more!! Oh the insecurities we have I definitely can relate to that. I was never one to do things in a small way my mother set the table every night like company was coming and that was so sweet of course she didn’t work LOL. I really have trouble keeping it simple and I need to work on it thanks for the reminder my friend
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Barbara your mom sounds like a wonderful hostess. I have a hard time with making people feel at home. I need to sit down, relax and visit with them. I realized a while back that me loading the dishwasher while my guests sat at the table across from me wasn’t their idea of a good time. Something I’m definitely working on. I’m the girl who puts things away immediately and likes a clean sink. People don’t realize sitting is soooo hard for me when there’s something needing to get done. Another thing I must work on. Ugh
I’m pondering your question,,,,,does my home reflect my heart? And does my visitor attitude reflect God’s word re hospitality? Thx for the thought provoking post
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I pondered over it. I’m still pondering over it! Grateful the Lord gives me little nudges instead of a slap on the head. Thank you Gail for the visit today!
Cindy, great thoughts. We love to have friends over (like you!!); in fact, I’d love to do more. All our friends have seen our home so I’m not trying to impress, although I do want our home to be clean and neat. Hospitality is about friends. As long as you have something to eat and offer a drink, I think conversation will take place and everyone will have a good time.
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Thanks Carol. My favorite times are when we have guests over in the driveway. I know that sounds weird but we have a great driveway for gatherings.
Plus they typically don’t go inside so it’s all good. And if anyone spills, the dogs will clean it up. 🙂 Love our outdoor parties!
Driveway get togethers are the best!
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Yep, the best. Especially in Spring and Fall!
Cindy, I love this and the insight the Lord has given you! I had never thought about entertaining the way you related it to us and the question about our home reflecting who we are inside has really got me looking at my home in a completely new light. I so identify with you about not being one to sit! It’s a struggle for sure but I’m learning to enjoy our guests and family time around the table after a meal. It’s hard but worth it especially now that the kids are grown and gone! My bigger challenge is space….not enough of it. With no dining room (it’s a space for my piano) and a super small eat-in area at one end of our galley kitchen with a square table that takes up every inch, it’s a squeeze! And like I mentioned our kids are grown! Of course they’re not home every day but when we have dinners together it’s like a puzzle to make us all fit. Besides moving or remodeling what are your thoughts to make the space larger visually?
Thanks for taking the time to write. I always love it!
Lynn S in Ft. Worth
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Guess what Lynn… I remember your kitchen and breakfast area! The colors may have changed but I remember! Maybe we should have lunch together sometime (I’m in FTW frequently) and I can walk through and help? Or if you send me a video/photos of the rooms, I can get a visualization that way. But for now, I’d switch out the square table for a round table with leaves. Make sure the table isn’t a counter or bar height and that all the chairs fit underneath the table.
If you have curtains on the windows, go with sheers or remove them. If you have a rug underneath, remove it. Keeping the walls, table, floor, etc., all in the same basic color will also help visually. You should also keep what sits on the table to a minimum.
A pedestal table also helps instead of having 4 legs. If you want a square or rectangle table, get a more narrow version. Have you thought about building in a banquette? You can squeeze more bodies in with those.
That’s all I can think of right now if you don’t want to rework other rooms.
I hope you can email photo’s or I see it in person – I’d be happy to help. It’s exciting to know you read the blog and love it. I’m grinning ear to ear right this very minute! Big hugs
BTW – Macy and I were talking the other day about her playing Mary in the children’s Christmas play which brought us around to Austin saying he was going to marry her someday. LOL!
Wrote a long letter and lost it so brief this time. You have beautiful home, you worry to much what others think. Think of what spiritual food or companion ship, or encouragement they may need or you may need that day. It works both ways. A good cup of tea and some cookies will go a long way, instead of fussing over dishes and food. I find people love coming to our home because it is primitive and comfortable. My motto is I can live this way all the time they should be able to endure for a few hours. With my cross stitch pictures books I love, bibles stacked around, a a fairy garden and a doll house, who is going to notice the dust? Or something out of place or missing, I do have an open door and it is time to ask someone in in this new year. Thanks for reminding me!
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What a great motto Sally – I can live this way all the time they should be able to endure for a few hours! And your comment about noticing the dust with so many wonderful things around is spot on. I will work on this! Hope you have a wonderful week.
Thanks
This topic has been near and dear to my heart for a long time, Cindy!! I want my house to be perfect when guests come over so it’s a struggle to let go but I’m making myself do it! I have missed the days when neighbors just popped over just because and now after years….we have neighbors that do that. It’s a mess sometimes and I’m letting that go. Like you mentioned, I had a friend who once told me she was scared in our house because she didn’t want her kids to mess anything up. That’s NOT how we want others to feel in our homes.
Did I ever tell you about the hospitality class I attended at our church long ago and far away? So much of it stuck with me and I’ve never forgotten. Part of the class was about being on the lookout throughout your days for things you would enjoy using when you have friends over..it might just be that cute pack of napkins you found on clearance or drinking glasses from the dollar store. The main thing that stuck with me was that we were all invited to dinner at the minister’s house (his wife was the teacher). We had the best time together! Then when it was all over she asked us…did you notice that our porch is covered with leaves? Did you notice that you sat on cat hair? Did you notice that the cloth napkins were really just piece of cloth cut with pinking shears? Did you notice your plates didn’t match? HECK NO! We didn’t notice any of that because we were just having a wonderful time with each other.
I might have shared that story on my blog at some point in time but it’s a good one so I tell it when this subject comes up. 🙂 So glad you shared this post today and the perfect scriptures too.
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Love that you mentioned your class and I will forever remember that fantastic advice! As for our house, no one would ever say they’d worry about messing anything up – LOL. I love your home and I think your personality (and that accent) is all one would need to have a great time at your home. 😉 Hope one day I have more than one set of neighbors that will pop in and me not worry about the floors.
I love this post, and all it says. Come on over, my house isn’t perfect, but neither am i, but i am here to listen and enjoy not to judge. That is exactly how we should feel always. Most of the time when i drop by to see someone i really don’t notice their house i just notice their sweet smile of welcome. Thanks Cindy.
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Exactly Marlene. That’s how we should feel and what we should notice. I like going to other people’s homes. I relax and don’t worry about a thing.
I’m ready to be waited on and pampered. Just kidding. If they asked me to wash the dishes, I’d be happy too. Oh well. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and start serving others no matter what condition the house is in.
Cindy,
although we haven’t met in person, I feel as if I know the real you by just looking at how warm, cozy and creative your rooms on your blog are. Especially your Navasota farm. I mean, how could you not love someone who has a pet donkey? Totally my kind of people. I know on blogs we tend to only show the pretty. What they don’t see won’t hurt them, but even if your floors need swept, you want to paint a room, etc… I’d be willing to bet that your home is as wonderful as you seem to be. I think we are all a little guilty of not wanting to have people over unless our homes are perfect. I know I am. I love the reminder to love what we have and to love others as well.
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Thank you so much Tammy, that is so sweet. You made my month! I’m glad you love the reminder. I bet you do it well already. Big hugs and I look forward to the day we meet in person!
Great post, Cindy. I love having people over.
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I can imagine your guests just love the atmosphere in your home because it’s adorable. Glad you liked it Katie, thank you.
Beautiful post. ive thought of this on the fly before but this post really has made me think, does my home reflect my heart? Does my attitude toward company reflect God’s word ? Wow! Thank you for this post and for making me/us think.
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When the Lord prompts me to do something, I try and do it before He has to prompt me again. And this is definitely something I need to work on. Guess I better start making out my guest list. Thanks for the sweet comment Marie. I greatly appreciate it.
Very true how we can all be super critical of our selves and our homes not being perfect, but our guests just truly love our company, friendship and hospitality, and are not judgemental. Relax and enjoy!
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I know I enjoy people’s company. I’m working on the relaxing part. 😃 And I for sure want to be a nice guest when invited. Thanks for the visit today!
I love this post! I also read the one linked from it. I can so relate to both. This is my reality! Lol.. Thanks for the reality check and helping those of us that struggle to find the courage to open our homes more.
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When I saw this notification pop up, I was reading your post on changing the color of your bench for the gazillionth time! LOL. I’m your newest fan. Glad I found you and happy you liked my post. It’s nice to hear I’m not alone in the #RealLifeStruggles. 🙂 Thanks for the visit Tammie!
Thanks for the reminder that hospitality is a spiritual gift and a spiritual discipline. God may have nudged you, but you slapped me on my pointed little head. We’re painting right now, but wanna come over?
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Bless your pointy little head. You’re welcome even though it’s you that remind me to be more hospitable. And I’d love to come over unless you want me to paint. You know I don’t like that. Check your calendar and we’ll have a lunch date or a dinner date with the hubbies. ❤️
What a beautiful post. It went straight to my heart.
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Thank you Kay. I was hoping it would mean something to someone else besides me. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
hi cindy! I just love your blog posts! And, to get to know you thru the Pinterest challenge what a gift!
I love this post. I saved it in my inbox from Wednesday! xo xo laura in Colorado!
Is there a small blog conference for all of us to attend!
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Thank you Laura. That means a lot. I have really enjoyed getting to know y’all through the Pinterest Challenges as well and through our DM on IG. I don’t know about a small conference but Haven is coming up again. It’s July 16-18 and the tickets go on sale March 3rd. I plan to go. There are several of us that attend. Hope you can go too!
Cindy I love this blog post. I always want our home an open door.
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Thank you Terrie. I’ve already started inviting people over and I hope to continue until one day our door is constantly revolving with friends!
This is a great post, Cindy! It really struck a chord with me, too. With two young ones who leave Hansel & Gretel toy crumbs everywhere they go, I feel like my house is always in disarray. I rarely host anything because of the clutter or because I think I’m “too busy.” You’re so right that there’s something special about having someone into your home, breaking bread together and showing hospitality. I’m inspired to do more of that this year. Love that line about being more concerned about how they leave and not what they think when they arrive!
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Awe, thanks. I’m already working on invitations. Super Bowl party this weekend! But I remember the days of young ones leaving a trail plus feeling busy. I bet some of the moms around you would love some midday brownies and Diet Coke. 😉 I’m sure you know, moms aren’t picky and enjoy getting out of their own mess sometimes. Thanks for the visit and bringing back some good memories.
My, my. This post prompted so many comments, that it’s evident you’ve got everyone thinking. I guess my first thought is that you never cease to surprise me, even though I’ve known you your entire life. I wonder how such a great hostess/cook/decorator/conversationalist can ever have concerns such as you expressed. I’m not going to contradict your thoughts one by one. I’ll just say that I believe the Lord is smiling all the time at you, His faithful servant, and the constant encouragement you provide to others to follow suit. Please keep being yourself, for the sake of all who know you.
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Thanks Mom. Not just for not contradicting me but for the encouragement and seeing someone I don’t see all the time. You know I go crazy wondering if the house is clean enough or if people are going to like me. I’ll keep being myself but I will also continue to grow and be a better version of myself. 😉